Sometimes you just need a break, to cut loose, to give in and just have some light relief from the day to day tasks. And let’s face it, without intentionally wanting to massage our potentially already weighted egos, us marketing folk have a bit of a tough job, balancing creative and ingenious ideas with more structured logic, planning and strategy.

I’ll apologise now for the following jokes, they’re really bad and cheesy. But hopefully one or two will put a smile on your face. Maybe even LOL or snort if you’re lucky! At the very least, collating them has given me the break I needed. Enjoy!

Why did the marketer get off the trampoline?
He was worried about the high bounce rate.

A stock photo walks into a bar, and the everyone start pointing and giggling.
She looks at the bartender and says, ‘Why’s everyone staring?’
The bartender says, ’Because your ALT tag is showing!’

Why did the naughty lead’s phone ring in the middle of the night?
For a booty call-to-action.

How many marketers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they’ve automated it.

Where’s the best place to hide a body?
The second page of Google

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, public house, drinking house, beer, wine, whiskey…

Why didn’t the marketing couple get married?
They weren’t on the same landing page.

What is a pirate’s favourite piece of marketing content?
A webinAAAAR!

How do you know when you’re doing too much email marketing?
You look for the ‘unsubscribe’ link on a postcard.

How do marketers get rid of houseflies?
A SWOT analysis. 

Why did the priest hire a marketing consultant?
To improve his conversion rate.

I’m trying to get in shape, so every time I schedule a post on social media, I do ten push-ups.
I’m already getting Buffer.

How did Yoda get his first lead?
He used the Sales Force.

I run all my AB tests in reverse after the first round. I call it AB/BA testing.
It’s really good, but only works if your target audience are dancing queens, young and sweet, and only 17.

I hired an earthworm, a centipede, and a millipede to do my email marketing.
They’re really good at segmentation.

I’ve decided that we are going to start selling corduroy pillows.
We’re definitely going to make headlines.

What does a Chiropractor and an SEO both fix?
Back links.

What’s a pirate’s favourite thing about marketing?
The arrrrrrOI!

Why did the ghost’s marketing campaign fail?
You could see right through it.

How do you get people to notice you online?
You have to make an impression.

Why did the marketer dump her boyfriend?
Lack of engagement.

Why can’t marketers see live musicals?
They keep trying to capture the leads.

Again, I apologise…

Russ Keyte

Author Russ Keyte

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